family time – My Lifestyle Diaries

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I see it everywhere; on the internet, social media, work, the school run – we are all so ‘busy’. And we’re proud of it. I often attest that I’d rather be busy than bored and I’m not alone. I only have to look amongst my peers on several of the WhatsApp groups I’m on – several messages depicting busyness, expressing apologies for ‘just catching up’ on messages, working ridiculous hours, ‘being snowed under’ with family life and commitments, the inability to find a mutually convenient date for a meet up – they all resonate with the social norm of being ‘busy’. Furthermore there is also the social ‘humble brag’ of being so deep in work that there is no time for themselves (menshealth.com).

Why is it so fashionable to be busy? why do we relish in it so much? Psychcentral.com suggests that in the modern times we live in, where more of us have better access to wealth, being busy is the new status symbol. They also say that busyness can be seen as a measure of self worth – after all we want to juggle and have it all don’t we? Emily ley, author of ‘Grace not Perfection’ agrees and suggests our society glorifies busyness and the adrenaline rush; If we’re not fast then we are not moving forward, and women in particular, step into the martyr role believing they are doing it for the greater good.

The impact of being busy could be having serious implications on our mental and physical health. Lara Casey, author of Make it Happen and Cultivate What Matters, states that being busy is the enemy of peace. And according to menshealth.com overworking can be extremely hard on you – raising stress levels (especially if you are sacrificing breaks) comprising your immune system and increasing the risk of serious health issues like heart disease and cancer. Constant busyness can also lead to self sabotaging and eventually a crash and burn (Emily Ley).

People who complain endlessly about being overworked and overwhelmed may be sending others a less-than-subtle message: “I’m more important than you.” (WebMD.com)

However there may also be more worrying reasons that we try to busy ourselves. It may be that busyness is used as a coping mechanism or a form of escapism when we don’t want to face things or tune into how we are really feeling (pyschcentral.com). It’s also used as a way to try and attain job security and prove that we are needed in times where no job is deemed safe and where our performance indicators are less visible than they once were in traditional jobs (sloww.co).

So we have established that busyness is an attractive status symbol. But it’s also clear that it can have a serious impact on our wellbeing, but regardless we push on anyway. Is this because we are afraid that if we don’t then we will fall short in society’s eyes? Are we then somehow deemed less successful? It seems we are scared of exposure; exposure that leaves our vulnerabilities and weaknesses on show. But If we immerse ourselves in busyness how will ever address them?

This is why we need to reevaluate our attitude and mindset. Look further at how we can organise ourselves, think about all the things your missing out on by staying busy, and face what it is we are trying to escape. Don’t apologise for being efficient or afraid that it exposes you, use it as an opportunity to put yourself first, then you can give the best version of yourself to others. For yourself practice self care, spend time on you and you’ll be refreshed to spend time with people. Professionally look at what’s going on in your industry and how you can add value to what you do, be it with better ways of doing things or helping others with their work and skills showing your value as a team member, work on your usp and bring that to your role to show that you are indispensable by being efficient. Employers want workers who are forward thinking and can do more efficiently rather than busying themselves by lengthening their work to justify their time.

The way we talk about being busy needs to change too. Whilst we should encourage people to talk openly if they are struggling, we need to respond to the laments of busyness in a positive and constructive manner. Be a good friend. Next time someone talks about how busy they are offer up your help. Is there something you could work on together to free up both your time?

What are your thoughts on this? How do you perceive busyness? How does being busy make you feel?

Sources https://psychcentral.com/lib/busyness-the-new-status-symbol/ https://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20170413/im-just-too-busy—-is-being-overworked-the-new-status-symbol https://www.menshealth.com/health/a19545737/busy-is-new-status-symbol/ http://slow.co/busyness-101/ https:/newdimensions.org/reclaming-our-time-and-moving-away-from-busy-beavior-with-yvonne-tally Lara Casey – Make it Happen, Emily Ley – Grace Not Perfection, Lara Casey – Cultivate What Matters, Jayne Hardy – The Self Care Project

Everyone who knows me well will concur that I love my holidays. My foreign, preferably with a plane ride, are my favourite but to be honest I just love holidays anywhere. I graduated with a degree in Tourism Management in 2004 and as much as I reiterate to people it’s essentially an industry focused business management course (which it most definitely is) my love of travel and tourism no doubt drew me towards it. If you were to ask my daughter what mammy’s favourite thing is I can guarantee she’ll tell you holidays without missing a beat.

For me, the biggest attraction is the break from routine. All inclusive holidays are my favourite as they literally give me a break from everything; no cooking, no washing up, no making beds – perfect. However I’m also in my element in a caravan in a UK coastal location, or rural lodge as that’s a break from the responsibilities of home and work. I also love absorbing new sights and environments, but above all, I love the opportunity to give my full attention to and spend quality time with my loved ones. And It seems that I’m not alone though and that links have been established between holidays and happiness, you only have to put this into the internet search engine to see that many other agree and corroborate it with scientific research.

However it is also believed that the happiness brought about by holidays is not made to last. Dr Dillner suggests in an article for The Guardian online that the positive effects of a holiday tend to wear off after two weeks, maybe this explains my intrinsic need to get trips in the calendar throughout the year as I do find this gives me a boost when the post-holiday blues kick in. And it seems that Tara Parker Pope, who writes an article for The New York Times about research undertaken in the Netherlands (published in the Journal Applied Research in Quality of Life) agrees. Her piece showed that there wasn’t a significant difference in the level of happiness in those that had and had not taken a holiday. Instead, it was the planning and anticipation of an upcoming trip that really boosted happy feelings. So it’s suggested that booking as many trips as possible will increase this further. At present I try to book in one forgien holiday and ideally two mini breaks for the year, and knowing I have these in the diary most definitely gives me a boost. In my old office we also had a holiday countdown board for the team – a fun activity where we would all list our holiday plans counting down the days to a break.

I’m also conscious about living in the moment and believe that you can’t pin all our hopes for happiness on a few getaways a year and I do wonder what our lives would be like without our holidays. My husband and I were brought up with one forgein holiday a year so this has been routine for us in all of our years together and we are very appreciative that we were able to experience far away places as children and be in a position where we can do the same for ours. During both my maternity leaves our budget was tighter so we forewent our overseas holidays and extended our normally weekend-long caravan breaks. The memories we made on these were just as precious. We also have what I refer to as ‘Sacred Sundays’ (no religious connotations intended) – a day we keep free for fun or relaxation. We don’t have any work (well my husband works every other!) and there are no extra curricular activities planned. On these Sundays we have stay-at-home days, day trips to the park, beach, shops, or another attraction. Furthermore during school holidays when I’m not working, I’ll try and plan a trip into a theme park or some other attractions like a farm park.

I think the main thing that drives me is that I believe that life is short and memories are there for the making. I understand that these are also made in the everyday living but it’s great to have the anticipation, for me it’s one of the greatest feelings.

Are you a holiday lover like me? Or can you give or take a holiday? If so what drives you instead?

Tag: family time

I’m just so busy, but does that mean I’m successful?

Happiness is Always Having a Holiday to Look Forward to